My Memories of Joyce

I’ve known Joyce for as long as I can remember.  And all my memories are wonderful.  

My first memory occurred in Friendsville, Pa when I was quite young.  Junie and Joyce lived in a little house on the Main Street of Friendsville and my family was invited to stay for a few nights during the summer.  We slept upstairs in a room where the heat came up to warm us through a hole in the floor.  I found it fascinating.   There was an outhouse behind and to the left of the main house and I remember walking there with my Mother in the pitch black nighttime air.   It was a wonderful adventure and I wasn’t afraid at all.  I had my mother beside me and we were in an area my grandparents always referred to as “God’s Country.”   Junie was my mother’s first cousin and Joyce was his wife.   Although Joyce was not a blood relative, she was as close to me and my family as any blood relative I have ever had.   She was magnanimous, generous and caring.   

Another early memory occurred at my house in Brooklyn, NY when Junie and Joyce were there for a visit.   Extended family frequently sat at the dining room table playing Canasta, Poker, and other card games.  On one such occasion, Joyce had her new baby with her, probably her first born child, Marilyn. Marilyn started fussing and Joyce realizing it was time for a feeding; nonchalantly put her baby to her breast.  My Uncle Joe Marski, quite the prude, went nuts!  He screwed up his face, reacted in horror and shook his head in disgust.   Joyce, calm and unfazed by his reaction, continued to feed her child. The card game continued uninterrupted.  No one else in the room batted an eye.

My brother, Marty, recalls the excitement he felt throughout the entire school day when he knew  it was the day that the Fitzgerald Family would be arriving for a visit.  He couldn’t wait to get home and join in the fun.  

We remember a marvelous summer week at Junie and Joyce’s house in Montrose, Pa.  The family upstairs had gone away and Joyce arranged for us to stay while they were out of town.  The Fries Family, Marie O’Donnell’s Family and Marie’s mother (Mrs. Murphy) and My Aunt Anne O’Donnell and my Grandpa TJ O’Donnell were all there together along with the Fitzgeralds.  We were sleeping both upstairs and down, in every available bed, all over the place.  Joyce had an open, welcoming way, and in spite of the chaos we had the time of our lives.   Sharon, Diane, Marilyn and I became copy cat “Lennon Sisters” as we sang Allegany Moon and rehearsed over and over again until we performed to “Director” Marilyn’s satisfaction.  TJ O’Donnell spent his days up at the courthouse at the top of the hill, listening to the trial in session at the time and making his own conclusion as to who was guilty.  There was a Fireman’s Carnival that week and Sharon and I, as 12 year olds, wandered in freedom looking for a guy we named “Flat Top”.   Joyce was the heart of these events and my heart is filled with gratitude for all the fun and good times she created for so many.

At our wedding, Junie and Joyce, squirreled away a salt and pepper shaker so Bob and I would have a souvenir of that fateful day in September 1971.  We hope to use it at our fast approaching 50^thAnniversary. 

Bob really got to know the Fitzgeralds in 1972 when, on our way back from a motor trip across country, I suggested that we stop in at 409 Clayton Ave to say a quick hello to my Fitzgerald cousins.  Well that quick hello turned into a delicious home cooked meal of pork chops and mashed potatoes as Joyce insisted we sit at the kitchen table and join them for dinner.  We ended up staying overnight that night and the Bob Buchner – Fitzgerald Family bond was cemented and sealed from that moment onward.  

Joyce was fun, no nonsense, honest and direct.  She was a comfort to be near.  When my dear Mother was suffering from a heartbreaking bout of anxiety and depression, she came to the Binghamton area with the intention of attending a “Coleman Cousins Get-together”.  At the last minute, she decided she wasn’t up to going to the Cousins Party, but instead wanted to go see Joyce.  I believe my father took them to that Chicken and Dumplings place in Great Bend.  I remember feeling so immensely grateful for Joyce during that time.  I’m betting that Joyce was the shelter in the storm for many people over her lifetime.  I’m betting there are a million such stories.   I for one can say that I always felt completely at home with Joyce. 

Joyce was creative and generous with her creations.  She went out of her way to make you exactly what she knew you would like.   

Joyce was one of the most accepting, non-judgmental human beings I have ever known.  I never felt afraid to tell her anything.   Thanks for giving me this gift. 

Every trivia event, every party was made better when Joyce was present. 

Bob and I were disappointed that we weren’t able to see Joyce lately.  We tried on several occasions, but for one reason or another, it just didn’t work out.   Nevertheless, we remember you Joyce, and we hold you in our hearts, and we hope that you know how much we love you.