The Decker Brothers - The Beginning of my Reflections

The Decker Brothers - The Beginning of my Reflections

This photo was taken at Scott’s Farmhouse in August 1961. Sharon is talking with Golden Decker in the driveway (which by the way is not on this side of the house any longer.  Golden is probably discussing plans for the evening.  Dorothy is standing on the steps and I am sitting on the steps next to her.  There are other family members on the side porch.  The man standing who is blocked by the porch post is my grandfather, T.J. O’Donnell. I can’t make out who the lady in the chair is and possibly the child by post is my baby sister, Meg.

In my eyes the Decker Brothers were like three peas in a pod - I guess that’s not surprising for three brothers
that were born so close to each other. This was the pre-birth control era, so no matter what your religious beliefs, there were simply no safe, reliable means to space your pregnancies.
I always saw Golden as the strong, calm, steady older brother and the “leader”.
Lyle was the quiet, sultry, sexy baby -faced beauty. Years later when Brad Pitt came on the scene, he put me in mind of my “darling Lyle”.
Stanley seemed to fit well the role of the youngest brother. He was sweet and loving, gentle, funny and a bit naive. I dare say I think he “loved” Dorothy with all his young heart even more so than his more worldly wise brothers loved Sharon and me. At least he pursed Dorothy longer. I failed to mention earlier that after his little stent in jail Stanley joined the Army and served his country from 1962 to 1965. He did his family and his country proud and it was obvious he was dearly loved by all who knew him. Sadly he died on January 4, 2005, one day before his
60th Birthday. I will try harder to find the letters I received from him and Lyle especially since one of the letters from Stanley contains an absolutely adorable photo of a very young, smiling Stanley Decker proudly displaying himself in his brand new Army uniform. I could not find an obituary on line for my dearly beloved, Lyle Decker, so all I know about his passing is that he left this earth way too young ( a mere 52 )after a three year long battle with bone cancer.

The Decker Brothers - Bittersweet

On August 24th 2018 I received a Facebook message from Golden Decker’s eldest daughter. I had sent a message to her via Facebook several weeks ago with the beginnings of my “The Decker Brothers” story inquiring if she was somehow related to Golden, Lyle or Stanley Decker.  So, I was pleasantly surprised to receive her response that not only was she related to the Decker Family but was actually Golden Decker’s oldest daughter. It was amazing to connect with the “Deckers” after 57 years!  I am curious to hear a little bit about how their lives proceeded. 



But, I was quite saddened when in the next sentence she informed me that her two Uncles, Lyle and Stanley had passed away. Although I didn’t hear a word about the Decker Brothers since the Fall of 1961, hearing that Lyle and Stanley had died had an intense impact on me.  I was truly devastated.  I wanted to know all about them, but I didn't want to know that they were dead!!    I am 73 and I knew they were close in age to me but somehow I didn't expect this news.  I guess it was normal for me to grieve because as far as my mind and my heart knew, they had just died.  I didn't want them to be dead.  I had this fantasy in my head of attending the next Decker Family Reunion and getting to reminisce with them over old times.   If you noticed I stopped writing for awhile.  I was in a bit of shock and I was in mourning.  

The Decker Brothers - Part 13

We stopped by H.B. Decker Road the next day and our new lady friend is home. She invited us to sit at a table in her side yard as she went into her house to retrieve the Decker Family History book that she had located somewhere among her belongings.

It was obvious that she had done her research, because she immediately pulled up the pertinent page, and there in black and white was the documentation that proved that the mythical characters known as the "Hillbillies" really did exist.   I believe that she was possibly as surprised as I was that Golden, Lyle and Stanley were not a figment of my imagination.

Golden Emerson Decker was indeed the oldest of the three boys, born 9-19-42. Next in birth order came “my sweetheart”, Lyle Evan Decker born 11-4-43 and last but by no means least, Stanley Duane Decker who was born 1-5-45. There were two siblings born before Golden and several more siblings born after Stanley but since I never knew they existed my eyes focused solely on the famous trio.

I was happy to see that all three brothers had married and had children which left me with a happy feeling. It seemed to point to the fact that their lives had turned out fulfilling in spite of the fact that they had to live without those Foxy Ladies from New York City! I was a bit surprised to see how young they were when they married. Lyle was only 20 years old when his first child, Lyle, Jr was born.

Just about this time, I started to reflect on the meaning of my search. Why did I have this need to find out what happened to Golden, Lyle and Stanley Decker? I took the lead I had gotten from the lovely lady of H.B. Decker Rd. and went to Facebook. I felt a bit like a detective and I found it an interesting challenge. I happened to see a woman by the name of Holly Decker on Facebook and even a guy named Golden Decker. I sent the first couple of parts of my story entitled “The Decker Brothers” to both of them in. Facebook message but heard nothing back. Then one evening several weeks later I received a Facebook messenger response from Holly Decker telling me that she thought my story was fascinating. I guess it is not surprising that it would be interesting to her since she just happened to be Golden Decker’s firstborn!  I imagine it is fun to hear stories about your beloved father from a long ago time when you were not yet even a twinkle in his eye.

The Decker Brothers - Part 12 Addendum

So when I saw my cousin, Sharon, recently she said  to me, "Mary, you have this part  ( Part 12) incorrect!.  Don't you remember that on that particular Sunday before dinner, you and I  walked up to Main Street in Freeport, L.I. to a public pay phone. We put a call in to Golden Decker's house to see why I hadn't received any letters from him."  I said, "Sharon, this is one part I honestly don't remember,." Obviously, the part that had to do with her guy, Golden, she remembered better than I did!
Sharon can't recall who we spoke to (possibly Golden's Mom), but she remembers finding out that Golden, did indeed write letters to her, even though she received nothing from him.  And, that my dear friends is why we confronted Sharon's Mother (my Aunt Marie), at the dinner table.  Only after she knew that we had found out the truth about the letters, did she admit to her crime.  As I said in Part 12, we went ballistic!!!  It seemed like such a betrayal to both of us.  Why was she so against Sharon communicating with Golden?  She didn't even know him? 

The Decker Brothers - Part 12

When we left for NYC early the next morning there were three gloomy young ladies in the backseat of the car.   When I got back to Brooklyn, I hung the hat I received as a gift from my beloved Lyle on the bulletin board in my bedroom. 
The letters I received from Lyle Decker all started appropriately with the salutation, " My Darling". Other then that special term of endearment that he had used to address me in person and in his letters, there wasn't much to be said.  I believe in one of the letters he told me about a rather dramatic incident where he almost drowned but since I cannot locate the letters at the moment (although being the Queen of Clutter I doubt I threw them out), I can't give you all the vivid details.   Even though there wasn't much substance to any of the letters and they were all very, very short, I cherished them nonetheless- all three of them!   My "dearly beloved Lyle Decker" quickly broke his vow to write faithfully and keep in touch.   A letter I received from his brother, Stanley, written in pencil on yellow legal pad from the County Jail on October 25, 1961( another story that I will get to soon), informed me that Lyle had run off with an older married woman and was going to live with her in Florida.  I guess you could say that Lyle didn't mourn my loss for very long.   He quickly moved onto another "Darling".
Stanley, the youngest and probably the most innocent of the three brothers, was so madly in love with Dorothy and so intent on getting to see her again, that he stole a calf to get the money he needed for the trip to Floral Park, Long Island.  Instead of getting to Long Island to see Dorothy, our sweet and loving Stanley was arrested and ended up in the County Jail.  Dorothy's mother was horrified when the letters from Stanley started to arrive for her daughter postmarked from the County Jail.  And actually, Sharon's Mom, my Aunt Marie O'Donnell, was appalled to begin with (even before she heard about Stanley's arrest and prison time).  As soon as we got back home to the city the family members who were on vacation with us told my Aunt Marie and my Aunt Dorothy ( Dorothy's Mom) all the stories about our summer romances.  They started tale with our dangerous trip into the back woods on the hood of a car with three total strangers.   I can only imagine that my Aunt Marie and my Aunt Dorothy were horrified and questioned why they had ever let their daughters go on a vacation with the Fries Family.  Therefore I guess it wasn't surprising that one Sunday in early Fall, over the dining room table at 91 Craig Ave in Freeport, Sharon and I discovered that Golden Decker had been sending letters to Sharon, but my Aunt Marie had intercepted them.  Sharon never knew Golden had been writing to her and she never received his letters.  I am not sure why Aunt Marie decided to divulge this information that particular day ( I guess she just had to get it out of her system ), but whatever the reason, both Sharon and I blew our tops.  "How could you do such a thing" we screamed.  I believe we actually got up and stormed away from the dinner table, but I can't really remember those details. I only remember the fury we felt and expressed.   Stanley continued to write for awhile.  He eventually started to write to me when the letters from Dorothy stopped.  We were never romantically interested in each other; he was hoping desperately that I could intercede for him with Dorothy.   My mother, God rest her soul, was ever the forgiving woman. She actually felt sad for Stanley and thought it was a charitable thing for me to write to him while he was in jail.  I guess she considered it one of the seven corporal works of mercy - "to visit the imprisoned".  Also, I think she  realized he was a safe distance away and had no money to travel since stealing the calf idea didn't work out too well. 

The Decker Brothers - Part 11

We stopped by H.B. Decker Road the next day and our new lady friend invited us to sit at a table in her side yard as she went into her house to retrieve the Decker Family History book that she had located among her belongings.  But before I continue, I want to step back for a minute into August 1961 and share a bit about our last night of vacation and the weeks that followed.  

I remember clearly our “last supper” at Scott’s Farmhouse. 

It is memorable for me because I did something I had never done before in my entire life - I ate meat on a Friday!  This was at a time in history when the Catholic Church still defined this action as a “Mortal Sin”.   You could go straight to Hell for this offense.  Since I took my religious instructions very seriously and had even been awarded the medal for Religion when I graduated from St. Michael’s Elementary School, this was an extremely dramatic moment in my life.  In fact it was such a dramatic moment that I even remember the meal.  We had spaghetti and meatballs that Friday evening.  It was leftover from the previous night, and because we were leaving to go back to Brooklyn early the next morning, my father announced that we could not let this food go to waste.  I can still see us sitting down for dinner at the kitchen table as my father blessed the food and waved his hand over our heads in a “special dispensation”.  I understood where he was coming from and as rigid as I was back then, I accepted his dispensation.  

After a delicious meal (I have always loved spaghetti and meatballs probably even more so that evening since it was a “forbidden fruit”), and a quick cleanup, Sharon, Dorothy and I went off with our beloved “Hillbillies” for one last evening on the Lake. 

It was a beautiful summer night and we held hands and walked together on a path to the Lake. We took a boat ride around beautiful Lake Oquaga on Scott’s Showboat, all the while romantic music was playing and the lights from surrounding cabins and resorts were reflecting off the water.   It was truly dreamy.   After

leaving the boat, we walked up from the dock as Lyle gently led me to a more private spot under the porch overhang, were he kissed me gently.  I was in heaven!   He called me “Darling”, and he gifted me with his coveted felt hat that had been embroidered at the fair earlier that summer.  We both cried and he vowed to write faithfully and keep in touch.

The Decker Brothers - Part 10

It is a very short distance to this young woman's Aunt's home and Bob pulls over to the side of the road and stops. I say to Bob, " I feel so foolish, I don't think I can ring this woman's bell."  He says something like, " What the heck, what do you have to loose."  Possibly he is thinking, what the heck else are we going to do on a foggy, dreary night all by ourselves in our little cottage on the lake.  Honestly how many DVDs can you watch?
All of a sudden I open my car door and my feet start to move; the next second I am standing at the front screen door to a very lovely log home.  I notice that there is some movement inside and I feel like it is too late to back away now so I press the bell or yell "hello there" or something like that.  Truthfully, I was nervous enough not to remember this part exactly.  I believe I was picturing being sent away in shame or being told, something like, " Hey crazy lady, get out of here before I call the police" (well maybe not in such dramatic words but you get my point).
As my mind is playing tapes such as "foolish little girl, silly little girl", a woman appears on the other side of the screen and it is now the moment when some words of explanation have to come out of my mouth.   I quickly blurt out my reason for being there, which honestly I am not exactly sure of myself.  Why do I want to know about Golden, Lyle and Stanley Decker after all these decades?  Why am I on some sort of quest anyway?  Why is it important at all?  I will reflect a little bit more on this later.  But when I describe why I am standing in front of her door, I believe I tell her about being 16 years old, being on vacation at Scott’s Farmhouse on Lake Oquaga, meeting three Decker brothers, driving on the hood of their car in an attempt to obey the "letter of the law" ( I was brought up Catholic after all, where the letter of the law is paramount, but I don't mention that ). At this point, she opens her door and joins me outside on her front porch  and invites me to sit down on a bench beside her.  Eventually she tells me to invite Bob up from the car to join us, and I wave to him to come.
I continue to share some of the more interesting details of the Legend of the Hillbillies  (forgive my use of this rather prejudiced terminology), but it was the title given to the three Decker boys by my family members and somehow it stuck.
Sitting on a front porch talking to a perfect stranger, I immediately feel a connection.   I really like this lady, I think to myself.
I learn that she grew up in Deposit and attended  Deposit High School.   As soon as she reveals this bit of information, I excitedly blurt out in a sing-song voice a little ditty I heard in Deposit 57 years ago, " Come on Bull dog, come on Pup, come on Deposit eat 'em up".  She looks at me with an amused expression on her face and I discover she has never heard this silly football cheer in her entire life.  I must sound so foolish, I think to myself, and I wonder once again if she thinks I am a little nuts.   And although some might think we come from two different worlds, we definitely seemed to have a lot of things in common.  I discovered that her husband was a guy who originally lived on Long Island and she met him in a bar in Deposit.  I am excited to share,  "I married a guy I met in a bar also!"
Eventually, she shares some information about the Decker Family and the H.B. Decker Road and how it got it's name.  She tells me there are tons of Deckers in the vicinity, and that they are in all levels of endeavors in the community- some prominent and some not so prominent.   In fact, there is even a Decker Family Reunion in this area every year or so.  Then she mentions that she happens to have a Decker Family Book - circa 1990 (with genealogy type information, listing the descendants of H. B. Decker, the guy for whom this road is named). She says, most generously, that she will dig through some stuff in her house to see if she can find her copy of the book if I  feel like stopping by her house again tomorrow.  Since this is the closest I have ever come to finding out some real facts about Golden, Lyle and Stanley Decker, how could I possibly say no.  This photo below was taken in August 1961 on the dock in front of Scott's farmhouse.  This is what Sharon, Dorothy and I did during on daytime hours while awaiting our exciting evenings with Golden, Lyle and Stanley Decker.