Many thoughts enter my consciousness. I shave my legs and see dried up skin and mourn the loss of the moisture of a younger woman.
I see the photo on my refrigerator of my Dad and me and realize it is the first birthday of my life that I don't have a Daddy. My sister reminds me how lucky I am to have had a Dad - and a very loving Dad at that - for 68 birthdays. She is absolutely correct and I take a moment to count this blessing.
I experience a sense of injustice when I realize that I made it to my 69th birthday and my dear Brother, Charlie, did not. I mention this feeling of "guilt" to his wife, Ellen,and she responds that Chuck (Ellen always calls Charlie, " Chuck") is ecstatic for me. Thanks Ellen, what a sweet thing to say.
I slept in late and enjoyed the luxury of our marvelous mattress - the best we've ever had and when I went downstairs to the kitchen, Bob was preparing a special birthday breakfast for me. How thoughtful. He has been so nice to me lately and I wonder what's up. I've heard that you need to be wary when your husband starts acting sweeter as it may signal that he is having an affair or is feeling guilty about something. He laughs at me when I suggest this possibility and says he just realized the importance of appreciating the good things that you have while you have them. I know what he means since more and more we are witnessing a lot of peers getting sick and dying. You don't know how much time you have left so make hay while the sun shines.
I am going to Mary Gecewicz's home at 5PM this afternoon to join our "gang", i.e., the Sensational Six and spouses in order to have a dinner together to celebrate the March birthdays - Anita (March 13th) Jim (March 24th) & Me (March 9th). Mary's spouse, Tommy, has passed on but will be with us in spirit I am certain. I am sure this is very tough on Mary, i.e., hosting a dinner party without her beloved partner, Tommy, and I admire her courage. I know it will be a great time as these are the greatest bunch of friends anyone could ever ask for. We laugh and joke and "carry on" whenever we get together. What a blessing to be able to be totally open and free with ones' closest friends!
I have to say that even though I am fast approaching the really big 7 - 0, inside, I still feel the spirit and soul of the 7 year old girl, the boy-crazy teenager, the young woman searching for love, the struggling Mom, the questioning Catholic and all those other parts of me that reside there.
No comments:
Post a Comment