Let the Women Be Heard

 Photo was taken at Mary Jane's "Goodbye Party" on Nov. 16, 1996 in Warwick, RI.  When Mary Jane was told the Cancer in her breast had spread to her bones, she decided to throw herself a "Goodbye Party".  Mary Jane and the rest of the attendees had a marvelous time.  Mary Jane lived ever moment of life until she left for her new life on Dec. 16, 2004.
Left to Right:   Eleanor, Ann Marie, Mary Jane (in the center, in white) Mary Beth, and Susan - all strong, proud women of the Class of 1965 - St. Vincent's Hospital School of Nursing, NY, NY


Mary Jane was one of a kind.   She was brilliant and creative and dramatic and loving.   The following poem is hers.  I believe the final line of her poem is a prophecy.  Now, more than ever, it is our time to light up the Church.

I Will Tiptoe 

by Mary Jane Sassone Jarkowsky (2002)

Introibo ad altare dei

Ad deum qui laetificat juven tutem meum

I will go unto the altar of God

Unto God who giveth joy to my youth

So began the ancient words of the Tridentine Mass

I am 12 years old

I am a Catholic Schoolgirl

I have known Latin since I was six

My soul hunger and my very life itself feed on

Novenas benediction Solemn High Mass Gregorian chant

The rosary and the Stations of the Cross

Daily after school I visit Jesus

Lonely in his golden tabernacle

Amidst the flickering red votive candles

My head shrouded

By a lace mantilla

Darkness falls early that November

I am astonished when my father

Who volunteers as the church sexton

Asks me to turn on the church lights

Could it be he does not know the rules?

But Daddy

I can’t go beyond the Communion rail

You know

Because I am a girl!

Daughter

The lights have to be turned on

And there are no boys

No boys to do it

And so the job falls to me…..a girl

To fulfill the honor and duty I owe my father

I will dare to enter the Holy of Holies

The nuns are allowed to do it

Care for the altar clothes

Arrange the flowers

Scrape dried wax off the candle holders

For they are the Brides of Christ

I will do it because Jesus is my friend

I will turn the lights on for Him

Even though feminine flesh defiles the Holy of Holies

I will break sacred tradition

Going back thousands of years

Back to Moses and the Arc of the Covenant

I will figure out how

To least offend God by my presence

First I will apologize to God

For being a girl

Then I will remind God

There are no boys

No boys to do it

Opening ever so reverently the gates

I will step across the barrier to the sanctuary

 I will hold my breath

If I do not breath I will be invisible

And lest my feet desecrate the sanctified area

I will tiptoe

Across the Turkish carpet and Italian marble floors

Before the tabernacle

I will tiptoe

I will tiptoe

I will tiptoe

And light up the Church

Better to Light One Candle...

I cringe and promptly delete forwarded e-mails that describe “the good old days” as peaches and creme and the current times as totally immoral and disastrous.   I can’t stand to hear self-proclaimed “preachers” who profuse that we are all wicked people on a slippery slope to damnation.   Who died and left them God?    

Now that I’m 67 years old and in the latter years of my life, I have little tolerance for doomsday prophecies.   My God is a God of Joy, my God is the God of the Resurrection.  My Lord is the Lord of the Dance.     I also believe in starting my eternity now.  I believe in bringing, to the best of my ability, light where there is darkness and hope where there is despair.   The older I get the more I attempt to surround myself with positive, loving people.   I am drawn to them like metal shavings are drawn to a powerful magnet.  Likewise, I find myself fleeing at once from negative people, negative talk, negative politics and negative religious beliefs.    It is not that I deny sadness or pain.  Actually, my ministry at church is assisting with funerals.  

Nonetheless I refuse to waste my time and fill my soul with unnecessary gloom, grief and pain.    I will not focus on nor internalize the emptiness in the glass when, in truth, the glass is half full.  I will do my best to light one candle here and there rather than curse the darkness.  And, I will continue to believe that God is the Light which knows no night, the Light which overcomes the darkness and fills the world with joy!

St. Patrick's Day thoughts

I am having a difficult time NOT marching in the parade today. 

I went out for a walk with a friend this morning here in my hometown of Latham, NY (near Albany) and I found myself marching to the sound of bagpipes.  

I thought about wearing my Nursing School cape but I was afraid that my friend might think I was nuts. She said she wouldn't have cared.  She's know me for years.  

I should have made the trip into Manhattan today since my head and  my heart were there anyway.   I had a terrible case of indecision - I simply could not make up my mind.  I had even picked up a little booklet recently and randomly turned to a page that said "never turn down the opportunity to march in a parade".   And yet I found excuses not to go - too much travel required - not many classmates were attending - needing to help with childcare for my grandson - husband might miss me - it's a Saturday and will be too crowded, and on and on.    I could not use the weather as an excuse.  It was probably the all-time best March 17th weather since Adam ate the apple.

They say that on your deathbed you don't regret the things that you did so much as you regret the things you didn't do and this is one for the regret column.  

Today, the St. Vincent's Hospital School of Nursing graduate and the "O'Donnell" part of me (my mother's maiden name) cried out to be walking in the sun up 5th Avenue.   

I must start planning ahead for next St. Patrick's Day.   I want that overwhelmingly exciting and amazing feeling one more time before I kick the bucket or my knees give out. 

 Maybe we can dazzle the crowds next year with the biggest SVH turnout in recent time.

  Mary Beth Fries Buchner- proud to be numbered at a member of the Class of 65

Quote for the Day:   Intuitive feelings always guide you in a direction of growth and purposefulness.

 

Responses to the STD Question

I have gotten a couple of responses to my question regarding the rate of Venereal Disease in The Villages and I have been told that this information is correct (i.e., the highest rate in the nation).   Nonetheless, I have not researched it in any official way and have other things to do with my time right now so I really don't know where the truth lies.

One Very Important Question

I have heard that The Villages has one of the highest rates of Venereal Disease in the nation.  I have no idea if this is a valid fact or just a rumor.  Anyone know? 

To Be Fair - The Other Side of the Coin or "Reasons You Might Want to Move to the Villages"

I dare say, it is much nicer than any nursing home I've ever been in.

You can purchase a home within easy walking distance to a shopping area.

The Villages encompasses 36,000 acres, so you have a lot of "different" neighborhoods to choose from.

If one village doesn't work for you, you can try another.

For the most part, the houses are fairly new and meticulously maintained, even, Orange Blossom Gardens, the mobile home park and first section which was built over 50 years ago.

You can talk to your neighbors without leaving your Lanai. They are that close to you.

Taxes are low, therefore you'll easily be able to afford the mandatory $135 per month "fun fee" (for such things as golf courses, swimming pools, clubs, tennis courts).

You can budget the Bond fee (this covers the infrastructure of your Village Community) right into your mortgage payments.

You get to mow your own lawn as the annual maintenance fee covers only the cost of caring for the common areas.

There is no fee for snow removal!!!  This is a big plus for me.

Everything is air-conditioned so you won't need to experience the oppressive outside air from May through October.

The many Doctors' Offices and Medical Buildings are camouflaged nicely with the decorative themes of each area.  They are painted in pretty, tropical pastels and have cutesy facades.  You'd feel like you were going into a ride at an amusement park whenever you needed blood work or an MRI.

The funeral homes are so well hidden, I didn't notice one.  Wait a minutes, maybe it was that candy stripped building behind the Palm tree-lined wooden bridge over the make-believe river.   Or maybe you live forever in The Villages.  Now, that might be a real good reason to move there.

And while you're living, you never have to be bored for even a second. There are multiple, planned activities from morning to night.   The newspaper lists pages and pages of activities for every day of the week.   You can go off in a million different directions at once.  That wouldn't work very well for me as I have a hard enough time staying on task as it is.  Believe it or not they even have bra parties for the ladies at the Maidenform Store.  Silly me, of course it would be for the ladies.  But then again, possibly the men might enjoy this event just as much. Seriously, this sounded like great fun to me, they serve wine and cheese and and you get 20% off your total order.  Maybe, I should introduce this concept here in the Capital District.

Actually you can do a lot of things that you didn't get to do in your youth.  Who cares if you look like an old fool.  All the other "old fools" (said with affection) are either loaded or acting just as foolish.  Hey, seriously, why not?  It's now or never.

You can see your grand kids in person for up to 30 days per year.

And, you can have your dog live with you from one end of the year to the next.  You can even put your dog's name on the sign in front of your house.

You can see young people when they check out your groceries at the Supermarket.  Believe me, this became an exciting event for me.  I felt like aliens had landed and they were so cute and fresh looking.

If you don't have a driver's license, have no fear, you can tool around in your customized golf cart without so much as a lesson.   And, if you don't do so well at this, you can always visit that cutesy, pastel building  I mentioned above.

Until they catch on that you are already a resident, you can go every day  to the Welcome Center and help yourself to a free, delicious hot cup of coffee.     Just smile pleasantly at the seniors in the pastel shirts who hover around and say, It's a great day in The Villages.   Try wearing a wig and glasses and you might be able to get a few more free cups.

There's entertainment in the Squares from 5PM until 7PM every night.  If you get there early enough, you won't have to stand.   And once the special liquor booth on the Square opens up, you'll be first in line for your two-for-one Margaritas.

The Vendors set up stands twice a week in each Square so you'll be able to buy junk jewelry and useless trinkets to your heart's content.  Take this into consideration when deciding on the size of your new home.  I would need a big one.

On Saturday evenings you can go to the Vigil Mass at 4PM or 5:30PM at St. Timothy's Catholic Church in Spanish Springs.   When was the last time you felt like a sardine in a Catholic Church?  Get there very, very early or bring your own chair, there is standing room only and even that is scarce.   Make sure you leave quickly or you might be trampled on your way out.  We don't want to miss those Early Bird specials, now do we?

If you're a Republican, you'll think you died and went to Heaven.

If you happen to be a Democrat, don't throw in the towel, there are 90,000 residents in The Villages.  I'm sure if you look hard enough you might be able to find one or two Democrats.   Hey, maybe you can band together and start a new club.

So, see you may want to move to The Villages after all.
 

Saw myself in the Grocery Line

I was standing in line waiting to check out at the Hannaford Supermarket the other day when a little girl in line directly behind me announced enthusiastically, " I love March".    I turned around to see who had spoken and there stood a lively, happy-looking, brown-eyed brunette.  I couldn't help but add my own enthusiasm to her spontaneous remark.  I love March too, I said but before I could say how wonderful it was that we could all get out "to play" again in the warmer, sunny weather that spring would bring, she added,
"my birthday is in March".
So is mine, I answered with childlike excitement.
What are the chances, I thought as I asked,  what day is your birthday?
"March 9th" she said. "I'll be 7 years old".
Wow, I said, My birthday is March 9th, too and I'll be 67 years old.
Her mother smiled at this unexpected transaction and, I, in my mind, subtracted 60 years and, for a very brief moment, saw myself standing there, innocent and unblemished by life.

Mary Beth Fries,
Feb. 1952 shortly before 7th birthday, P.S. 76, 2nd Grade