Several years ago, Aunt Margie asked if I would do a Eulogy for her when she died. I felt honored by her request and said, "yes". This past Saturday, I had to "break the rules" at St. Elizabeth's Church in Melville, NY in order to give my Aunt Margie's Eulogy in church. But I thought to myself - what is worse - breaking the rules of the Diocese or breaking my promise to my Aunt Margie? I prayed to the Holy Spirit and I received my answer. The Eulogy was delivered from the altar as it was meant to be delivered. After all, we are a priestly people and temples of the Holy Spirit. Margaret O'Donnell Foulkes was the Beloved of God. Therefore, what more appropriate place to share Aunt Margie's life than from the altar of God. Erroneous rules are meant to be broken. Yesterday I broke a rule that was wrong in order to keep a promise to my Aunt Margie.
Margie's Eulogy
Although my
Aunt Margie has been a part of my life for almost 70 years, my first conscious
recollection of her was on January 14th 1950. Shortly before my 5th birthday my
cousin, Sharon, and I walked up the aisle of Our Lady of Good Counsel Church in
the Bushwich section of Brooklyn.
Right behind us on the arm of her father was a strikingly beautiful 22
year old woman named Margaret Mary O’Donnell - my Aunt Margie. She was on her way to the altar to marry the
man of her dreams, William Joseph Foulkes.
Recently I came across their wedding photo, and I couldn’t help but
think that they were without a doubt a “Movie Star” couple. My Uncle Bill was as handsome as Margie was
beautiful. They made a stunning couple.
Margaret
Mary O’Donnell was born in Brooklyn, NY on Nov. 5th 1927. She was the 6th and last child
born to Margaret Mary Coleman and Thomas Joseph O’Donnell. To me it seemed that Margie absolutely loved
the coveted spot of “baby of the family.”
I remember hearing that she liked to say to her mother, “I’m the Baby,
aren’t I Mommy?”
Ten and a
half months after the wedding, this former Beauty Queen assumed the new role of
“mother” when her first born son, Glenn, arrived on the scene. The following Easter vacation I was invited
to sleep over my Aunt Margie & Uncle Bill’s first apartment in Bay
Ridge. I learned so much watching this
new mother care for her baby. I admired
so much about my Aunt Margie, I wanted to be just like her, and I wanted to
marry someone just like my Uncle Bill. I watched her carefully as she modeled the
roles of wife, homemaker and mother of four.
When I was 17, she asked me to be the Godmother for her baby girl,
Lynn. I was delighted and honored by
her request and of course I said “Yes”. She
built my self-esteem and gave me confidence in my abilities because she treated
me in a special way and allowed me to see that I was a capable human being. This
is a wonderful gift that one person can give to another.
When she was
a young adolescent she lived with her family in a second floor apartment at
1017 Putnam Ave. Here is where she had
some early experience in the responsibilities of mothering when her 5 year old
cousin, Noel Krebs, 7 years her junior, accidentally set his 3rd floor
apartment on fire while playing with matches.
The fire department was called and promptly responded but not before
considerable damage occurred. Noel was
sent downstairs to his Aunt and Uncle’s apartment and young Margie was assigned
the charge of looking after her little cousin.
Margie loved the assignment and offered Noel all the love and tenderness
her young heart could muster. Noel
reports that beautiful Margie fell in love with him that day and he also fell
in love with her. Her inner and outer
beauty and her loving tenderness captivated him.
I believe
that a number of people saw Margie as someone who was as meek as a little
lamb. And truthfully, there was a lot of sweetness
and gentleness about her. She had the
most beautiful, tender face and such a soft, pretty smile. But she also had a strong, feisty side, which,
personally, I felt only added to her attractiveness. No one
could ever pull the wool over Margie’s eyes.
When she had made up her mind in one direction, she was steadfast and
determined. Even
the tall, dark and handsome Bill Foulkes, had to work quite strenuously to get
that second date. Margie took some
convincing and she didn’t come easy. He
had to prove himself before he won over her heart and made her his bride.
I remember hearing a rather dramatic story
that demonstrates the strong will and determination of Margie. Every year when school ended she left the
heat of Brooklyn and went with her mother and her siblings to the lush green
hills of Pa. to spend summer vacations at her grandmother’s home in a small
countryside hamlet called Friendsville. One
time while she was there, she was invited to spend an overnight with two of her
cousins, Nonie and Ruth Geary in the nearby town of Lawton. They say that “three is a crowd” and in this
instance it proved to be true. The girls
got into a fight and little Margie decided she was no longer staying at their
home. Instead, unbeknown to the adults
in the house, she started out on foot to return to her mother in Friendsville –
even though it was a full 15 miles away. She was very young at the time and this
journey was quite an impossible one for such a little girl. That didn’t stop Marge - she had a goal and
she was going for it. Somewhere along
the road she got tired and walked up to a stranger’s front porch and fell
asleep. Luckily the homeowners
discovered her there, did some research, and were able to track down her family
before her mother had the terrifying experience of learning her baby was “missing
in action”. Aunt Margie might have
seemed meek and mild to some, but she certainly was not a shrinking violet.
Years later
her assertiveness helped out in her career as a Real Estate Agent when tenants
attempted to renege on their rental obligations. Margie rightfully and solidly stood her
ground.
Margie’s
life was not always a bed of roses.
There were times of great heartache and physical and mental
suffering. She lost two of her siblings
before her 24th birthday, and among other things she survived a
broken hip and open heart surgery. In
spite of her pain, she continued to move forward, placing one foot in front of
the other, giving us an example to follow of grace under fire. As the O’Donnell Family’s last surviving
member of her generation, she has had to say good-bye to her entire
family. Now that I’m older, I’m much more
aware of how heart rendering these final good-byes can be so I understand
better and admire her strength.
Margie
received a subscription to People
Magazine for years and years. This was
quite appropriate and symbolic for a woman who loved to be around people. She enjoyed entertaining, loved hearing her
husband play a tune on the piano as he sang some classic love songs in their
living room in Flatbush. As a young
babysitter, I enjoyed seeing her all dressed up and ready for a dinner and
night out on the town with my Uncle Bill.
Once or
twice we disagreed and when I made a mistake, she was willing to forgive and
forget. She spoke her thoughts about
certain issues directly and maturely and I learned from this. She expressed words of forgiveness, and I was
aware and grateful for her love. She
was a very creative woman, well dressed and a bit of an interior
decorator. Later in life she even took
up painting and excelled in this area without any formal training. My
Aunt Margie was an honor to know, and I am a better person for having had her
in my life. She was a great example of
womanhood, a marvelous illustration of unconditional love. She taught me so much about life and loving
and grace. Although I believe she is and
always was - like the rest of us - a spiritual being on a human journey,
nonetheless I will miss her, I will miss her.
Proud to
call myself your niece, Mary Beth
