Reflections from Two Years Ago

Please don’t feel obligated to read my reflections but in case anyone is interested here goes….. Reflections regarding my anxiety surrounding my Nuclear Stress Test -so I after having some time to think about it, this is what I came up with: 1. During the last stress test, my blood pressure went so high that they kept taking it every two seconds and so I was concerned over having a similar reaction this time. Even though my blood pressure was a bit outrageous yesterday, the lady in charge of the treadmill and watching me seem to take it in stride. 2. I was also concerned that I might not be able to have an adequate test and then they would push me to have the medication that makes your heart race, and I wanted to avoid that at all cost! I have a sensitive heart(❤️ no pun intended) and something as simple as too much caffeine can give me tachycardia. 3. This particular time I was especially anxious about needing stents placed since I had been having significant chest pain recently. On my most recent visit to the cardiac office, I saw a Nurse Practitioner rather than the doctor and frankly I felt she was more interested in establishing her authority than in listening to what I was saying to her. I told her I was having frequent chest pain but I was also suffering from rather significant Gastrointestinal- Esophageal Reflux Disease. I told her that the pain improved during vigorous walking. She started to hand me a prescription for a new cardiac medication, Renexa. I told her I was already taking 5 cardiac drugs already (Atorvastatin Calcium, ie, Lipitor, Propranolol HCL ER Cap 60 mg, ie, Inderal, Hydochlorothiazide 12.5 mg, Norvasc 5 mg twice a day, Lisinopril 40 mg ) and I preferred to see if it was indeed my heart that was causing the chest pain before adding another medication. The NP said that the Renexa would help with the Nuclear Stress Test. She meant the medication induced stress test and I had already told her that I did not want that medication and I planned to walk the treadmill. But I must say that my Nursing School Buddy probably hit the nail on the head-I was really frightened that they might tell me I needed stents and frankly that scares the hell out of me because the damn stents basically killed my beloved older brother, Charlie. He was placed on the anticoagulant, Plavix, and one hot and humid July night a plastic molded chair tipped backwards and he hit his head on a decorative cement paver behind him. A week later he was dead after the neurosurgeon tried every medication in the hospital to stop the bleeding in his brain but nothing worked. So yes, Susan Smith Joseph, I believe the thought of needing a stent was probably the biggest reason for my anxiety. I’m thankful that no blockages were found!! And I don’t think I will have another Nuclear Stress Test but I’ll cross that bridge if and when I come to it. I guess the bottom line is I’m afraid of dying but more specifically having no control over the circumstances. One more very good reason to be anxious-I’m a retired RN and I’ve seen the consequences of a few medical/nursing mistakes. Sometime, I’ll tell you a story of my own miraculous miracle but not tonight because it’s after 11pm- pass my bedtime.