Turning 78!

 

Could that be me? Can I really be that old? Just yesterday I was bar hopping to find my Mr. Right and today I think about writing my obituary and planning my memorial services.  

Am I odd? I would say not; I’m just being realistic. 

We talk about sizing down but then again most days I barely have enough energy to do the basic tasks of living - showering, making the bed, preparing the dinner, washing the clothes, etc.  Aches and pains  travel around my body and interfere with a restful night of sleep. 

“I’m lucky” most would say and I believe it’s true but depression sits on the other side of the door, trying to enter. 

Try to live in the moment. 

Take pleasure in the little things. 

“I know, I know”, I answer these platitudes that make their way into my consciousness. 

This is a time of reflection. I remember the events of my life. What made me who I am today? I remember all the individuals who loved me over all these decades and I’m filled with gratitude. 

Did I make all the right decisions?

Did I take the right paths? Did I follow God’s will? Then again I wonder still and maybe more than ever-Who or What is this entity people refer to as God? Am I supposed to know for certain; am I supposed to be secure?  What will happen after I stop breathing? Some nights as I’m falling asleep I’m conscious of my heart - how has it beat so steadily over all these years. It amazes me when I think about its consistency. Even through the night while I’m sleeping, my heart keeps going - Wow, thanks heart ❤️! 

I sometimes wonder about other aspects of my body and I wonder why we have two arms, two legs and are made up in the way we are made up instead of in another configuration. 

No matter what I feel or fear or enjoy, it won’t stop the progression of time.   It just keeps moving on and in the end it seems to me that the only thing that ever really mattered or matters still is Love ❤️.