"Today I Met the Boy I'm Gonna Marry"

That fateful night, the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving in 1969, I walked into the Desert Inn (located along the Van Wcyk Expressway in Queens, NY), promptly made my way up to the bar and ordered a drink.    I wanted a little alcohol in my system to help me relax and I needed an activity -something to hold in my hands – since I had arrived early and was there completely alone.   Even though I was almost 25 years old and I had been to this type of” boy meets girl” establishment on my own several times before, I still wasn’t very comfortable with the idea.    So I purchased my cocktail and returned to the periphery on the sidelines of the dance floor.   Although I felt a bit intimidated standing there by myself, nonetheless, that particular night, I do remember feeling rather secure in my appearance.  I was clean and fresh and sprayed with some of my favorite perfume (Estee Lauder’s Youth Dew), I had spent time fixing my hair and I was wearing low-lying hip-hugger pants with a wide belt and bell bottoms and a dark, form-fitting, high neck, long sleeve knit sweater.    (See, I told you I remembered!)   Being a nurse in the Pediatric ICU at Downstate Medical Center in Brooklyn, I was scheduled to work the next morning and didn’t want to be out too late.  Therefore I told my two girlfriends I would drive my own car – an old Studebaker – affectionately named “the little gray mouse” and meet them there.    

So there I stood wondering what the heck do I do now.     Before I had a lot of time to fret, I noticed that two guys, a few yards in front of me, kept turning around and looking me over.   Anyone who came of age in the 60’s probably knows this typical “pick up place” routine.   Both guys were nicely dressed and rather attractive – I had gotten a glimpse of their faces as they looked back and forth at me and conferred with each other.  I remember thinking that both fellows were rather nice looking and I wouldn’t have minded if either one approached me.   Eventually, Walter came over and asked me if he could buy me a drink – another typical move in the “pick up place” routine.   I wasn’t a big drinker but I said “yes” because this was part of the usual protocol and I didn’t want to miss out on anything.    I nursed the drink; we sat at a table and talked for awhile and we danced a few times.    After awhile, he walked me over to his group of friends and introduced me to them.    The guy who had been standing with Walter earlier in the evening was Bob.    Bob was quite a talkative fellow and he asked me several questions about myself.   I guess Walter decided our conversation was a little too animated and was going on a little too long and I remember he put a stop to it by saying to Bob, What is this, an interview?  As Walter grabbed a hold of my hand and led me away, I remember thinking to myself,  I really like that guy’s voice.  There is something really nice about that guy.   On some level, just like the words of an old song, I think I knew “ Today I Met the Boy I’m Gonna Marry. "

Here are the Lyrics of this cute old song (circa 1963):

Today I met the boy I'm gonna marry
He's all I wanted all my life and even more
He smiled at me and the music started playing
Here comes the bride when he walked through the door
Today I met the boy I'm gonna marry
The boy who's life and dreams and love I wanna share
The boy whose on my hand a band of gold will bear
The band of gold I always dreamed I'd wear
When we kissed I felt a sweet sensation
This time it wasn't just my imagination
Today I met the boy I'm gonna marry
He's just what I've been waiting for oh yes
With every kiss it's as if my heart keeps saying
Today I met the boy I'm gonna marry

Mary Beth & Fr. Tom Burns in Maryknoll, Sept 2012

An "old" friend from my youth is working to empower the poor in Lina, Peru. 

Here is a direct link to a short video describing part of Father Tomas Burns' work:
 http://www.maryknollsociety.org/index.php/multimedia?vid=76

PS.  Money donations are always helpful and most welcomed.  I'll be glad to tell you how to help.  

Rita Mary Agnes O'Donnell Fries

Today is the day that my mother left this earth for places unknown.   She always loved an adventure so I feel she is happy and smiling.  I also believe that her spirit is still with the people she loved so well on this earth.  Rita Mary O’Donnell was born on March 25, 1917 to Margaret Coleman O’Donnell  and Thomas Joseph (TJ) O’Donnell .  She was Margaret and TJ’s first child and as you can see from the fancy-dancy photo, they thought she was pretty special.  

I just returned from the Siena College Chapel.  My Dad and I went to the 12:35 PM Mass in honor of my mother.  I remembered one other time when, as an adult, I sat between my mother and father at Mass and I felt grateful to have both my parents with me.   I felt sad for those people who lose their parents at an early age.   Today I imagined my mother on the other side of me and it warmed me to sense her there.

I thought about some of the many things my mother gave me and I decided to share a few of these memories with her family.

• Rita loved to go to “the country” especially in June.  Her grandmother, Hannah Byrne Coleman, had a home in Friendsville, Pa. and her mother, Margaret Coleman O’Donnell, would spend summers there with her children.     Rita’s father, T.J. O’Donnell, was a NYC Policeman; he would drive his wife, Margaret, and his kids up to the country at the beginning of the summer and come back at the end of the summer to bring them back to Brooklyn.  Rita and her siblings loved their time in this little tiny hamlet of Friendsville (Friendsville was a Stage Coach Stop in times gone by) and a house nearby (Aunt Bridge’s Farm) in St. Joseph’s Pa. was a part of the Underground Railroad for run-away slaves).    Her father, TJ, referred to the area as “God’s Country” and the “Garden Spot of America”.    It was and still is a beautiful place.
• Rita went to her senior prom (Girl’s High School) with a guy she had a crush on by the name of Johnny Ryan.   But seated at the same table at the prom was the brother of her friend, Rosemary Fries.   This was apparently the first time she laid eyes on her future husband, Charles A. Fries.    She told me that she eventually attended parties at Rosemary’s home on Vermont St (aka Interboro Parkway and Jackie Robinson Parkway) and she had a difficult time getting Charlie up out of his basement where he liked to tinker with radios and electronics.    Eventually she got Charlie to notice her – it had something to do with a game where you would shine a light on the person you liked (a form of spin the bottle).
• Rita spoke very highly of “making love”- in fact her “birds and bees” discussion with me, her eldest daughter, was so very ethereal that I finally had to ask her, “Mom, does skin have to touch skin?   I was glad she “liked sex” as her thoughts and feelings helped to counter balance the message about sex that I picked up in Catholic School which was foreboding and frightening.
• I never heard Rita complain about childbirth.  She seemed to love having children.  She encouraged creative play and didn’t seem to care that the house was getting all messed up in the process.   I remember painting snow scenes on the kitchen windows, baking cookies, throwing blankets and sheets over the dining room table in order to create the neatest tent house underneath, digging up the backyard to make a swimming pool or building cars and boats out of leftover pieces of wood.   I remember her welcoming all the neighborhood kids to play at our house.    I also remember her inviting “the world” to have dinner at her table.
• Rita liked to write but just like me she was always trying to finish something.   She was very smart and as an adult attended Queens College (until she fell at the college and smashed her kneecap).  For one of her classes she wrote a term paper about a stimulant drug called “Peyote” that was far superior to most other term papers I have ever read including my own.
• Rita also was an amazing genealogy researcher.  I only wish I had half her talent in that area.  She wanted her family to know about the people who came before them.   Many of you may remember her push to have everyone in the family attend the “Curley Reunion” held in Friendsville, Pa in 1989. Sadly, she died before the Curley Reunion that was held 10 years later.   I know she was the force and spirit behind the 2008 O’Donnell Reunion and I know she would want me to share her stories with you.   
• Rita didn’t much care for sewing or cleaning house. 
• She made the best apple pies I have ever tasted.
• She enjoyed a good cocktail once in awhile.
• She loved to go out to dinner.   One day near the sea she had a Lobster.
• She dearly loved her family and her heart broke and never completely recovered when her “baby” brother was killed on Heartbreak Ridge in Korea.
• She wanted to go to Ireland in the worse way.
• She wanted to learn to drive a car.
• As far as I was concerned she was a better Catholic than any of the ordained clergy.
• She often told me that when she looked around at other women’s husbands, she always came to the same conclusion; she would never trade her husband for any of them.

And, a Woman Shall Lead Them!

I took this photo at our church's confirmation ceremony on November 7th.  Only after I downloaded it into the computer did I realize that it is a "prophecy".
A young girl is carrying the cross of Christ and in a matter of minutes she will be leading the clergymen up the aisle of the church.   I believe with all my heart and soul that this is a picture of the future of our Church.   The Holy Spirit is calling for women to stand up and take their place at the altar.  
If you would like to hear more, I recommend the following books:
"Is the Pope Catholic?" by Joanna Manning
"Pioneer Priest" by James Brady Callan
and " She Who Is" by Elizabeth A. Johnson

Photo taken from Breezy Point June 13, 2012

On Wednesday, June 13, 2012, we had dinner at Kennedy's in Breezy Point with some friends from St. Vincent's Hospital School of Nursing - Class of 1965.   Right in the middle of dinner I was drawn out of the restaurant to take this photo.     There was something scary in the sunset scene.   But who would have ever imagined the nightmare scene that was to come to Breezy Point just 4 months later.

Nassau University Medical Center - What an Experience!

Tuesday afternoon, my sister-in-law waited patiently for the phone call informing her of the time of her surgery on Wednesday.   The call came through about 4:30PM and before the information could be shared, the call was disconnected.  We should have realized then and there that this was an omen of the disheveled experience that awaited us.   She called back and after getting several busy signals, she was finally able to get through to a live person only to be told she didn’t need to be at the Ambulatory Surgical Unit until 12N. 

Nothing to eat or drink after 12midnight and therefore absolutely no coffee in the morning!   Not what she wanted to hear.    We rented a movie on TV in an effort to stay awake as late as possible in order to sleep as late as possible in order to make the morning seem a bit shorter and less painful.    We rent a movie entitled something like Finding a Friend for the End of the World.  I thought it was a comedy and I remembered hearing somewhere along the line that it was pretty good.  Well I was wrong, very wrong.  This was an incredibly bad choice for the “night before surgery”.    At the end of the movie, this guy and girl who have finally found each other are laying in bed together speaking of their true love when the dreaded massive meteor smashes into earth and disintegrates them.   We’re left with this lovely sentiment as we try to fall off to sleep.

Eventually morning arrives and I go out to fill up the car with gas and get a bagel and coffee so Ellen doesn’t have to smell the coffee or see me eat.   I don’t want to be fasting – I’m prone to low blood sugar symptoms which would be of no help to Ellen.    I want to be in tip top shape as I know it might be a long day.    I had no idea!

We wait for the clock to reach 11:25 and then leave for this major Medical Center that is basically only a few blocks away.   I park in the lot next to the hospital for convenience’s sake and figure they’ll stamp my parking stub in the Ambulatory Surgery Unit.   It only makes sense that they would provide free parking for surgical patients.   Well, once again I was wrong.  It costs $3 for the first hour and $2 for the next hour.   No, I’m told, they don’t stamp your ticket – the hospital has nothing to do with the parking lot – and they do not have any parking lots that they operate.     

We locate the Ambulatory Surgical Unit on the second floor, A Building.   We see a rather messy, little room crowded with desks thrown in a disorganized fashion around the tiny space.   Standing and sitting amidst the desks are several individuals dressed in blue scrub suits.  One tall, thin woman sitting at a computer at one of the desks gives one last suck and then pulls the tootsie roll pop out of her mouth as she turns around to look over her shoulder to see who standing in the doorway.    I think to myself this can’t be the office for a Major Medical Center’s Ambulatory Surgery Unit.   We must be at the wrong place - it honestly looks like some sort of storage room in a factory.   Finally another lady in a blue suit who is wearing a laminated card that identifies her as an RN acknowledges us and tells us that her name is Madeline.   She asks us why we are there and when we tell her that Ellen is having surgery and was told to be here at 12noon she tells Ellen to take the seat next to her desk and starts asking her some basic questions.  When she realizes that I am still standing there she says that I can take a seat out in the hallway.  I say I’d rather stay with Ellen and she asks Ellen if that is OK and after Ellen says yes, I’m allowed to stand by her side.   An underling in a blue suit comes along with the rolling Blood Pressure machine and thermometer and after the vital signs are documented and the basic data is collected Ellen is taken in the back to have blood drawn and to put on the hospital gown.   In a matter of minutes, by about 12:15 PM, Ellen is back out in the hallway with me and the waiting game begins.   Oh I forgot to mention, Madeline, the RN, had bad news and good news.  First, she informed us that Ellen’s surgery wasn’t scheduled until 2PM and that it “routine procedure” to have patients arrive 2 hours ahead of time –meaning we had close to a two hour wait.   Then  Ms. Madeline, RN,  gives us the good news that probably Ellen won’t have to wait until 2PM to go into the OR  since the patient scheduled for the time spot before Ellen was taken into surgery earlier than anticipated.   Apparently this patient’s surgical procedure was expected to be lengthy and for that reason was brought into surgery early.   

Just around that time, we are pleasantly surprised to see Ellen’s sister and brother-in-law walking towards us.   They had decided to make the 3 hour trip from upstate New York to see Ellen before she went into surgery and to be there with us.    We sit and wait until 1PM and then I decide to move the car from the costly non-hospital-affiliated parking lot to look for a free spot somewhere in the vicinity surrounding the Medical Center.   I know that Ellen is in good hands with her sister and brother-in-law at her side and I kiss Ellen and tell her I hope she will have been called into surgery by the time I get back upstairs.     I go to the car but decide that I will leave well enough alone since the maximum fee for parking all day is $8 and I already owe $5.

When I get back from my excursion to the parking lot and off the elevators on the second floor, Ellen’s sister greets me with this news, i.e., five minutes after I left, Ellen was called to a place known as the Holding Room.    We are all relieved that that the anxiety of this waiting time is over.  Finally, Ellen can get this surgery over and done with.       Oh my where we ever wrong this time!  ...to be continued

October 19, 1940 - The simple facts

Seventy-two years ago today, on Saturday morning, October 19, 1940 at ten o’clock in the morning Rita Mary (Agnes) O’Donnell married Charles Anthony Fries at Our Lady of Good Counsel Church, Putnam Avenue near Ralph Avenue in Brooklyn, NY.

The Reception followed the ceremony and was held from Noon to 5:30PM in the Solarium at the Hotel Granada (phone # Sterling 3-2000) on Ashland Place and Lafayette Avenue in Brooklyn, NY.   Victor Molho was the Maitre D’hôtel at the time.

I have enclosed a copy of the menu choices but I do not know what the final choice was although I think it might have been the Chicken a la King on Toast ($1.25 per entree) or the Roast Vermont Turkey ($1.75 per person).   I wonder if my Dad happens to remember.  There are not too many people around today who would remember what was served that day.

I have also attached a copy of the seating map that was used in the Solarium that day. 

My mother was excited that there was a little bit of snow that particular Oct. 19^th. She saw this as a sign of good things to come.  

My mother also wrote out her questions for the caterer on the back of a Hotel Granada envelope.

At the time of her marriage my mother lived at her family apartment at 1017 Putnam Avenue, Brooklyn, NY.  Her phone # was JE 3-5929. 

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad