Who met my Uncle Joe?

With Memorial Day upon us I cannot help but remember my Uncle Joe O'Donnell and the significance of his loss.   The thoughts that flow through my brain at this time of remembrance are just that  - my thoughts, my feelings.
I thought about the fact that Marie, his 26 year old wife, was never able to fall asleep in his arms again; never to feel the warmth of his touch upon her body or hear his words, "I love you" whispered in her ear..
I thought that Sharon, 6 & 1/2 years old  and Diane , 3 years old, never sat on his lap again, never again heard a bedtime story from his lips or felt those lips on their foreheads as they laid their heads upon their pillows.   I thought how I missed seeing him in vacation photos from the beach or at  birthday parties and family celebrations throughout the years.   I thought about the fact that Sharon & Diane 's Daddy missed their First Communions, their Confirmations, and their Graduations.  And his arm wasn't there to lend his support as they walked down the aisle on their wedding days. I thought about the fact that he missed meeting his sons-in-law, Bob Smith and John O'Rourke and never held a grandchild or a great-grandchild!    It is not fair.  It is not fair.
I realize that there aren't many people alive today who had the pleasure of meeting him face to face.  
Oh sure, we talk a lot about him. and there are photos and letters but they flat and one-dimensional.  They are not his living presence.     I feel so diminished that life went on without him and I feel a tremendous sense of loss for all the grandchildren and great grandchildren that never had the pleasure of his warm smile, his gentle voice and his loving embrace.
I still mourn, I still wonder why.  And I still feel blessed to have experienced his living presence.
I don't forget, and I won't ever forget.  He made a very big impression on this little girl.
Addendum:  Judy and Terry,  Do you know who is Mrs. Mary Coleman who is mentioned in the newspaper clipping??  

Connor Patrick Buchner

In yet another attempt at clearing out, I came across the two yellow, lined sheets of paper that we pulled out of a small pad back in 2005.  Diane's Cousins, Amy and Kate Buchner were up in Latham visiting with us and we were all having fun brain-storming names for the baby boy that Diane was carrying and just about ready to deliver.   Some names had a star next to them and some names had a smiling face next to them.  Here is what is written on these papers as possible choices for the little boy born on 05-05-05.
Gavin
Caden
Chandler
Quinlan
Carter
Ryder
Logan *
Caleb
Brady
Brendan
Blaise *
Romeo
Hunter **
Tiernan
Liam
Kiernan
Mark
Connor * Michael
Matthew
Luke
Milo
Locke
Hudson
Boone
Declan
Champion
Malachy
Regis
Thaddeus
Dante
Isaac
Isiah
Chance
Kian
Dallas
Casey
Beckett
Fimm
Holden
Corey
Phineas
Cody
Jude
Ian
Justin
Later as I was attempting to fall asleep I remembered there was one more name we discussed but after seeing the list of names we jotted down, I realized it was vetoed so quickly that it never even made it onto paper.  The name was "Killian" as in Killian Red.  We decided that naming this innocent newborn after an Irish brew known to be the downfall of many might not be the greatest idea.  
Now-a-days, my heart calls him "Gift" and not a moment goes by that I don't thank God for him.  I also thank my beautiful daughter, Diane, for giving him life and being such a marvelous Mom! 

Arrival Day

The doorbell rang and I hurried down the short flight of stairs in our Raised Ranch on Oakwood Drive West in Colonie.   Brian was out in our fenced-in back yard playing with his "Bully Dozer" in the dirt pile in the far left corner of our property.  Bing was tied to a long chain next to his homemade doghouse in the same corner of the yard.  It was May 11th 1979 and I was anticipating the delivery of our new baby girl.    Bob was at his State Job downtown.   I'm not sure why he didn't stay home that day.  In retrospect, it seems like it would have been nice if he were there with me.  Possibly we weren't sure what time out little baby would arrive and Bob, being the conscientious worker that he was/is, never missed a day of work.    Come to think of it, the very first day he started to work for the State of New York here in Albany, he woke up in the middle of the night sick as a dog with a temperature of almost 104 degrees.  It was 1976 and we lived in a mobile home on Belden Hill, and the ride northeast to the Albany area at that time (pre- Route 88) was 2 & 1/2 to 3 hours.  I was working at Wilson Memorial Hospital in Johnson City and I was scheduled to go into work that morning.    I tried my damnedest to convince Bob to call his new Boss and explain that he was very sick and couldn't possibly make it, but Bob was going to start this new job whether or not it killed him.  I guess it was no coincidence that it just happened to April Fool's Day!
So Bob was at work when I heard the anticipated doorbell. When I opened the front door, there on the landing was our Social Work, Jean Kibbe, holding a cute little redheaded, six month old baby girl.   Jean had her own mother with her that day; I can only guess that she had wanted to be a part of this joyous event.  I was a little surprised but didn't mind since it was something my own mother would have wanted to do.     The Albany Social Services Adoption Unit had conducted a very abbreviated home study (it started at the end of March) since Diane had been born on Nov. 6th and was in a foster home awaiting adoption.     The Social Worker advised us to change our baby's name since the name  given to her by her birth mother was very unusual, and easily identifiable.  I often wondered if calling her by a new name, i.e., Diane, was a bit confusing to her since babies are very wise, even at six months of age.   
Briefly, Jean and  her mother sat on the couch in the living room with us and then they left and I had a new baby all to myself.     It was a surreal feeling.    No labor pains, no delivery complications, and one of the shortest "pregnancies" on record.     I called two and half year old Brian in from the backyard to meet his new baby sister and he came running in, looked her over, and went back outside to continue his digging in the dirt pile.
 I put Diane in the highchair for lunch but she didn't seem too happy about it.  
When we lived on Oakwood Dr West, I was babysitting for a neighborhood little red-haired girl named Mary, and when she arrived after school that day she was delighted to hold our  new little baby.  They actually looked a bit like sisters.  I'll have to find the photo that her mother took when she came to pick up Mary after work.
When Bob got home that evening, I said, "here's our new baby" and we all sat together at the kitchen table  for dinner.  Although it was a regular day in many ways, it was a most extraordinary, life changing day for Diane and the Buchner family.

Mother's Day

So, what are you thinking about this Mother's Day? 
I have been thinking about the fact that I am grateful that my two children came into my life, thus allowing me to be a Mom.  I'm also thinking about my own dear Mother and my Aunt Anne O'Donnell and my mother-in-law, Loretta Carney Buchner - all who were mothers to me in one way or another.  And, I'm thinking about what a wonderful Mother my daughter turned out to be and how I have the very sweetest grandchild any grandma could ever wish for. And in the process of searching out these photos, I coincidentally (or maybe not!) came across the following poem which my mother had copied on a piece of loose-leaf paper.  Since it was written specifically for Mother's Day (1944 or 45) I decided to share it with you.

" To Mother on Mother's Day

Gee, but I'm a lucky guy

To have a Mom like you

To go to with my worries

Or anytime I'm blue

You've helped me with so many things

You've even been my nurse

I'd run to you with aches or pains

And sometimes even worse

At asking silly questions
I always was a pain

But gee, you were swell then, 

You never once complained

And now we're miles apart, Mom 

It has to be this way.

But you're always in my heart, Mom

And I'm thinking of you each day.

I love you always,

Your son, Joe 

I'm sorry I couldn't get a card - this is original."

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